First in a series...

Of dating euphemisms translated. Things people say, and what they mean. Or what one can reliably infer.

"Friends first" = Still has a regular booty-call. You will be auditioning.

"Never a dull moment" = Bipolar Disorder.

"Sarcastic" = Mean.

"Sick of the bar scene" = Not getting any.

"Driven" = Nuts.

"Fun-loving" = Please entertain me.

"Christian" = Needy; judgmental.

"Avid traveler" = Bad credit.

"Need someone who can keep up with me" = Virgin.

"Classy" = Not classy.

"We are a polyamorous couple seeking same" = Morbidly obese.

"I can't believe I'm on this site" = I won't respect you because you were on this site.

"Always up for adventure" = Messy apartment.

"Down to earth" = Almost out of bankruptcy.

"laid back, hip" = Judgmental, high strung, not hip.

"My friend made me do this" = Easy.


[For entertainment purposes only, past performance not an indicator of future results, etc.]